Getting Through the Holidays

Please allow me to introduce myself. I am the new therapist at Triad Counseling, and I am so blessed to be a part of this practice. My name is Cynthia, and I specialize in helping people experiencing grief and loss. This time of year can be tough to get through, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Whether you are experiencing the excruciating loss of a loved one or you are experiencing loss through divorce, estrangement, or job loss, the pain is real,, and at times, you can feel utterly alone. I get it. You might feel overwhelmed by the season, and that is understandable. Here are a few things you can do to regain some of your control: 

1. Acknowledge your emotions: It is okay to feel sad and to show that to people. 

2. Change your holiday traditions: It is okay to do only some things precisely as you did before your person died. Let’s be honest: some activities from your past will be too difficult to do this year. 

3. Honor your loved one: Be creative and find new ways to honor your person.

4. Set realistic expectations. While you may feel like “canceling” the holiday, make a doable plan for celebrating your life and spending time with loved ones. 

5. Allow yourself to grieve. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions, from sadness to anger and even joy, and these emotions can come out of the blue. Creating a toolkit of breathing techniques can help you regulate the moment. 

6. Find comfort in helping others: 

7. Communicate with others: When you are feeling sad and overwhelmed, it is okay to be honest about it. Share your plans to honor your person with others. They may want to be a part of this new tradition. 

8. Acknowledge the grief your family's children are feeling. Plan something you can do together to help them honor their loved one. 

9. Seek support 

May peace and comfort be yours,

Cynthia

How to quite the beast of Anxiety

We all have encountered the beast of anxiety at some point in our lives, some people fight it daily. I describe the beast as something that lays quietly waiting in our mind waiting for one faulty thought and the minute that happens, boom the beast comes alive. In the blink of a second the beast creates overthinking, racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, poor judgement, and fear only to leave us overwhelmed questioning our reality.  A few great coping skills you can use to help minimize anxiety are:

 Grounding: One way of grounding is to sit down, take a deep breath and start orientating yourself around the room. For example: name every object in the room, for example that is a door, window, curtains, bookshelf, etc. This can be done anywhere. Grounding works because it helps refocus and center the mind bringing yourself back to the present state.

 Deep Breathing:  Take 10 deep breaths. Breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, and release for 5 seconds, and repeat 10 times.

 Journaling: Journaling is great for quieting the racing thoughts and over thinking. There is power in thought to hand and hand to paper. This allows you a way to express your thoughts, letting them go in away, instead of ruminating on them feeding the anxiety.

 Keep in mind anxiety can happen at anytime and to anyone. Seeing a therapist and working through anxiety will give you the insight, awareness, and tools that can be used to cope with anxiety..

Suppressed Emotions

What are suppressed emotions and how can we notice when we have them.

I love to use this analogy, so here we go!

Have you ever went and got your car cleaned. Afterwards you feel accomplished for completing a chore, your car smells fresh, and you ready to take on the day. You stop for a soft drink at a gas station. You get your favorite kind, get back in your car, and all sudden you spill your drink. Your initial reaction might be to start cursing, yelling, feeling irritated, or becoming frustrated. All the sudden you went from feeling accomplished to feeling like your day has went from great to awful in seconds. However an hour to two hours later you are not still irritated about that spilt drink. You have moved on with your day. Well this is an example of how emotions should flow. Emotions are meant to move like waves when processed in a healthy ways. They come and go often lasting for a brief period of time.

 Now keep that analogy in mind. Can you recall thinking of a memory in life when you were hurt and it brings you unrest, irritability, anger, shame, blame. You might find yourself thinking of the memory and start ruminating, creating a cinema movie that could win an Oscar . If you can relate to this then there are unresolved emotions, emotions that are stuck. When emotions become stuck it stunts emotional maturity, skews our perception of ourselves, others, and the way we view the world.

 A great way to explore feelings is finding a safe space to process your thoughts and feelings. Allowing yourself the ability to grieve and heal. Letting go of the false beliefs and embracing your TRUTH!